Reduced Love
by R. Milo
Summary: Ran dies, Shinichi goes blind, a stranger with no name takes him in. Will Shinichi fall in love? Will Shinichi forgibe himself for Rans death? And who is this stranger? Find out in Reduced Love.
1. Strange Love

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 1

Strange Love

Rain flooded the windshield as Shinichi and Ran drove down a high mountain road, they were coming back from a ski trip and felt exhausted. Shinichi had trouble keeping his eyes open and ran was sleeping loudly in the back seat. A pickup was tailing them and Shinichi could not help glancing back every few seconds, because the truck seemed to keep getting closer. He yawned and turned the radio on, and looked back at Ran, at the same time he saw in slow motion, the truck hit the back of the car, and the no longer sleeping ran. They screamed.

Someone was holding his hand, it was soft and there was a dainty perfume smell around him. He tried to open his eyes but he could not see anything. He blinked, feeling his eyelids slide over his eyes, but saw no images or colors. He sat up quickly and heard a gentle sobbing.

"Hello?"

"Shinichi, I-" the woman's voice was cut off by a frantic Shinichi.

"Mom? I can't see! Mom I can't see!"

"Honey, I know. The doctors say…"

"What, what do they say?"

"Shinichi, they don't know when you will be able to see again."

"What! No, I can't be blind!"

"They say it is temporary, but they aren't positive when it will go away. Maybe a month or two…" she trialed off into a whisper and started to cry again. Shinichi hung his head and felt warm tears on his face. It was then he remembered Ran.

"Mom, how is Ran?" His mother did not respond.

"Mom, how is Ran?" He asked a desperate tone.

"Shinichi, I don't know how to tell you."

"Tell me what" He knew but asked anyway.

"She didn't make it to the hospital. She died instantly. Don't blame yourself honey, it wasn't your fault." Shinichi did not say anything. He covered his face with his hands and cried until his shoulders hurt from shaking and his hands were covered in tears.

A Month Later

His eyes were still useless, and his heart followed suite. He didn't bother to get out of bed, and he never spoke. He blamed himself for the accident. He stopped going to school and no longer worked on cases, he had thrown all his detective gear out the window when he got home, all he could find. Once and a while his mother would come in and try to talk with him, but she always left less than she had been. He son was dead, only his heartbeat betrayed him.

Schinichi stared up at what he felt was the ceiling; he felt like crying but could not find the strength to summon the tears. He reached up with both of his hands and started to sob, dry sobs, and loud, empty, painful sobs. He wanted to say he was sorry, for everything, but he no longer wished to speak, to much to say to a dead girl. It drove him mad. Every second he could not see he grew more and more lonely. He missed looking, he missed seeing, he missed people, but he could not get up. It would cause him to break.

Someone entered his room, he knew it was his mother; he hated it when she came in, and she tried to offer him comfort she could not give. He turned away from her on his side. With heavy steps, she came closer and stopped at his bed.

"Shinichi." It was not his mother, and that confused him, he did not get visitors, he turned to the male voice. The person reached out and took his chin in their hand lifting his face up. "So, you can't see."

Suddenly he felt lips on his, wet soft lips. He opened his broken eyes wide and sat rigid. The kiss seemed to last for minutes, and Shinichi just sat there, confused. Then the lips were gone, and he heard footsteps walking away and the door closing, leaving the boy shocked on the bed.

The next day he got out of bed. He almost fell because his legs were weak; he almost called for his mother, but decided against it. He pulled on clothing, taking awhile because he could not see them and half crawled downstairs. His mother rushed over to him and smothered him.

"Do you need help? Are you in pain? Are you okay?" He pushed her away and groped for the door; he slammed outside and sat on the cold concrete steps, shivering from the chill air. He was about to give up and go back to bed when the male voice returned.

"Cold?" Shinichi almost jumped up but instead stayed where he was, not answering. Then he felt a heavy coat being put around him. The man's face was near his, he could feel his warm breath on his skin. The man whispered into his ear, warming it, "I said, are you cold." Shinichi nodded. Strong steady arms wrapped around him, picking him up, causing him to make a small shocked noise. The man chuckled. "I'm going to take you away. Do you mind?" After a little while, Shinichi shook his head. He did not want to stay here in this house. He was carried to a car and put into the passenger seat, he stiffened, and he was not ready for cars. He made an effort to get out but the man just shut the door. "I'm a good driver."

They drove in silence, Shinichi was gripping the seat so hard, that the man was afraid he would dig his nails into it, so he grabbed his hand without saying anything and squeezed it. When they stopped, he picked up the stiff boy and carried him to a house. "This is my home, and you can live here as long as you want. I know how it is to have fussy a mother." Shinichi just sat in his arms, looking down at his knees. "Shinichi, you were never shy before."

He looked up at the voice, thinking of where he had heard it, he had thought all night and the car ride, but could not place it. "What is your name?" The man sat him down in a chair and laughed.

"So you didn't lose your voice as well as your sight. I was worried."

"What is your name?" The man did not respond.

"I am who ever you want me to be." Shinichi looked skeptical.

"You aren't going to tell me?" The man smiled, although it was lost to Shinichi, "How old are you then?"

"I'm seventeen, like you. I used to go to school with you, but I dropped out. I work at a convenient store now." Shinichi scowled. "Yeah, I know. Let's just say, I'm 2nd place at life." The man sat down next to Shinichi and touched his cheek. "Don't worry though; I can take care of you." Shinichi's heart felt tight at the touch and he leaned forward a bit not sure, where the boy was. With a smile, the boy leaned forward and captured Shinichi's quivering lips. He wrapped his arms around Shinichi and pulled him close. Shinichi knew the boy wanted something from him to stay. He pulled away a little bit and started to haphazardly take off his shirt, but he other boy stopped him and lifted his chin to look into Shinichi's blind eyes. "Never do that again. I'm not that kind of person." He then got up and left Shinichi alone, feeling very small.


	2. Names are Nothing

Chapter 2

Names Are Nothing

Heiji clicked away on his keyboard, thinking of how he pushed Shinichi away, true he wanted him, but not that way. He sighed and leaned his head on the back of his chair closing his eyes. _If only I could tell Shinichi who I am, it would all be so much easier…but that would make him leave. He has always hated me, I do not know why, but there has always been tension between us. Maybe I should make up a name. Would he buy it? Could he recognize my voice? Maybe he knows who I am, secretly. _He stood up when he heard a crash from the living room. "Shinichi!"

Shinichi was sprawled out on the floor; he had run into the coffee table trying to get somewhere. His knee was bleeding and tears where coming from his useless eyes. Heiji hurried to his side and tried to help him up, but Shinichi didn't want to move. When Heiji reached out for him, Shinichi just pushed him away and started to sob. He didn't know what to do. "Shinichi…"

"I- I am useless, I can't do anything by myself!"

"Shinichi, you are blind…" Heiji's voice was full of concern and worry. Shinichi did not answer, just cried and eventually let Heiji hold him. Shinichi sobbed into Heiji's chest, while he stroked his hair, "don't do this to yourself, Shinichi…"

"But I did. The accident was all my fault."

"How was it your fault?"

"I was driving the car."

"So?"

"I killed Ran!" he all but shouted it into Heiji's chest, who paused for a moment and sat silently.

"You loved her?" Heiji's voice was sad, as if the question hurt to ask. Shinichi stopped sobbing and pulled away from him.

"I don't know. She was my first girlfriend; I suppose it was a kind of love. She was my best friend." Heiji's let out a breath, he didn't love her, he didn't love her. He hugged the fragile boy in his arms and whispered into his ear.

"No one blames you, I don't blame you. It isn't your fault, it isn't your fault." He repeated those words to Shinichi as he wept, clinging to Heiji until he fell asleep. With a sad smile, he picked him up and carried him to his room, softly setting him on the bed under a thin blanket. He cupped the boys face, "Kid, this is the best I can do, all I can offer you is myself." He sat next to Shinichi in a chair and kissed his forehead. He fell asleep holding his hand.

Shinichi opened his eyes, disappointed to still be unable to see, but he found that the darkness had lightened to a dark grey. He was getting better. He stretched and wondered when he had gotten in a bed. Figuring the boy must have put him there; he got up and stumbled until he found the door. He listened for sounds of life and followed them into the kitchen that smelled of eggs and bacon. Heiji turned and looked at him, "Your up, are you hungry?" Shinichi nodded and groped around for a chair. He tripped on a loose floorboard and started to fall but Heiji caught him. "You have to be more careful or your going to hurt yourself again."

Shinichi felt tears coming again, he was such a failure. "Come on now, don't cry Schinichi, you never cried like this before." Heiji tried to hold him but Shinichi was angry.

"How do you know how I am? Who are you? What is your name?" Heiji looked hurt and turned back to the eggs leaving Shinichi in the middle of the small kitchen.

"I only want to help you Shinichi." Heiji put the eggs and bacon on a plate and handed it to Shinichi, then left the room to hide in his study. Shinichi threw the plate and heard it break, then ran out the doorway and hit the couch, where he fell onto it and sobbed. He didn't know what to do.

After an hour, Heiji came out into the living room to find Shinichi staring blankly at the ceiling, "hey." Shinichi didn't reply he just stared up. "Please lets not fight Shinichi, I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You have only tried to help me. I don't deserve help, you should kick me out." Shinichi blinked away tears, angry that he had become such a crybaby. "I'm sorry," he said as he wiped at his eyes. Heiji walked over to him and knelt by the couch.

"Shinichi," Heiji leaned over Shinichi and kissed him, who was surprised but responded. He slowly sat up, breaking the kiss and looked at Heiji with his blind eyes. Something was in them, some strange feeling that Heiji couldn't interpret, but he knew they were pleading at him. He reached out, trying to find Heiji's face, when he did he ran them down his cheek and over his chin, nose, lips and eyes, feeling the way he was put together. He stared into Heiji's eyes, trying his hardest to see, but in vain. He pulled his hand away, but Heiji caught it.

"My name is Hattori." It wasn't a total lie, it was his last name. It sounded enough like a first. Shinichi took this in and smiled the first smile in a long time. Heiji felt tears on his cheeks, but didn't remember when he had started to cry. Shinichi heard Heiji's soft sobs and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"Now who's the crybaby?" His voice was neither condescending or angry, but soft and warm. Heiji took his hand and kissed the palm.

"I love you Shinichi." The blind boy just looked at him with a smile, and then he kissed the crying boy.

"I know you do Hattori." Shinichi took Heiji into his arms while he wept, rocking slowly back and forth as if he was holding a child. He knew it was not the response Heiji wanted to hear, but now, it was the only one he had.


	3. Love is Blind

Chapter 3

Love is Blind

Shinichi woke up to the comforting feeling of strong arms around him and the sun on his face. He turned in bed until he was nose to nose with the sleeping Heiji. He could hear his steady breathing beside him. He traced the sun-warmed skin of his jaw then kissed his lips, never failing to surprise him with their softness. He was growing fonder of this "Hattori". Heiji opened his eyes slowly and smiled at the blind boy, "Good morning." Shinichi smiled at him and stretched.

"I'm hungry." Heiji looked skeptical.

"Are you going to throw it again?" Shinichi looked sad.

"Sorry about that. I didn't-I mean-" Before he could fumble anymore Heiji laughed and silenced him with a soft kiss, but Shinichi wanted more than that. He turned the gentle kiss into a passionate one; he rolled onto his back causing Heiji to roll on top of him. They both opened their mouths at the same time, their tongues meeting and then descending into the opposite mouths. They parted their lips only for a second to take quick rapid breaths before returning to one another. Shinichi's hands wandered over Heiji's smooth, tan skin. All he could think about was, wanting to see the man he desired. Heiji pulled away, not wanting to take advantage of the boy beneath him. Shinichi was confused.

"Don't you want me?"

"Of course I do…I love you, but I don't want to take you unless you feel the same." Heiji ran a hand through his hair. "Don't take it the wrong way."

"Hattori, I do _like_ you; a lot." Shinichi was desperate, he wanted to be comforted, and he only wanted "Hattori" to comfort him. He sat up with Heiji on his lap; he reached up and brought Heiji's face down to meet his with a kiss. "Just make me feel good Hattori. Won't you make this blind fool happy?" Shinichi knew he was manipulating "Hattori" but it is not as if he just wanted sex, he wanted to be loved, even if the love was not fully returned by him.

"No. I have to go to work. I'm going to be late." With strange anxiousness he got up and ran out the door, "I will see you later Shinichi, I love you!" Shinichi just sat, confused on the bed.

Heiji walked into the clinic and sat down in a plastic hospital chair, waiting for his name to be called. The room was packed, coughing children, angry parents, and homeless beggars, they were all there. He himself, a former prostitute with a hot boy living in his house, he just wanted to be safe.

"Heiji Hattori, the doctor will see you now." Heiji got up slowly, afraid of what will happen. He just wished for everything to be all right, for Shinichi's sake.

Shinichi sat anxiously on the couch, waiting for Heiji to come back. He was worried about the way he had just left. Was there something wrong with him? He moved his hand over his cheeks and eyes and nose, finding with horror a large scar over his right cheek, he did not remove his hand as tears fell from his eyes.

"I'm ugly."

"Shinichi! I'm home, and I brought food!" Heiji was smiling as he walked in the front door, but soon began to worry when Schinichi did not come running. He set the market bag down on the table and went off to search for the boy. He heard running water from the bathroom, and he quietly opened the door to find a naked, curled up Shinichi in the shower crying while the water hit him. "Shinichi, what are you doing!" Heiji ran over to the boy and jumped into the shower, not bothering to shut off the water. "Shinichi?"

"Leave me alone! You don't love me. Nobody loves me! How could they, I'm ugly!" Heiji was frantic, he didn't know what to do or say.

"What are you talking about, you are not ugly, you're beautiful…" Heiji acted like a wall between the water and Shinichi as he stroked the smaller boy's cheek, "I do love you Schinichi, why are you saying these things?"

Shinichi sobbed and tried to push Heiji away. "No, you cannot love me! Look at me, my face, it's so ugly!" He reached up and touched his scar, causing him to sob loudly. "That's why you wouldn't have me! You don't want this hideous, blind face looking up at you!"

Heiji could feel tears in his eyes, he shook Shinichi's shoulders and held him tight, "fool, it's the only face I'd want to stare up at me." Shinichi wrapped his arms around Heiji, and wept.

"I love you Hattori." Shinichi rested his head on Heiji's strong shoulders, as he whispered the words to him. All Heiji could do was cry.

Heiji was drying the wet boy with his only towel in the house, trying to rid the boy of the coldness. He gentle dried his face, then bent down and kissed him slowly and softly, and then he kissed his scar. "I think Shinichi, that you are beautiful." Shinichi smiled a small smile but then looked up.

"Why then, would you not have me?" Heiji had been dreading this question.

"I-had to go to work."

"You're lying."

Heiji sat down next to the questioning boy on the couch and ran his hands through his black hair. "It is complicated."

"I want to hear it Hattori." Shinichi grabbed Heiji's hand, "because I love you. I want to do for you what you've done for me." Heiji kissed the boy's hand and leaned back on the couch. "Promise me something."

"Anything."

"Don't leave."

"I would never." Heiji turned to Shinichi and sighed.

"Okay, here it goes. When I dropped out of school, I lived on the streets, I had no money and I needed to get a job, but that doesn't come easy for a high school drop out. So I did the only thing I thought I could, I became a male prostitute." Heiji paused and he felt Shinichi's hand loosen its grip on his own. Heiji took his had away and ran both through his hair; no know how to say the rest. "I quit about a year ago, after I got a real job. I had sex with many people Shinichi…I just didn't want to give you anything, you know. So when I ran off, I went to the clinic to take a test, to see if I have anything. They said they would call tomorrow with the results." Heiji sighed and looked up at the cracked ceiling of the small, messy house. "I did it too keep you safe." Heiji got up, "I'm going to take a shower, so, just, do whatever." With that, he left, and Shinichi shed two tears before getting up and going to bed.


	4. Negative is Positive

Chapter 4

Negative is Positive

Heiji woke up on the couch; he hadn't wanted to disturb Shinichi so he was in his boxers, the only clean thing that wasn't in the bedroom. He sat up and looked out the window, today was grey and rainy. Heiji moaned and got up, scratching his lower back, looking around for Schinichi. Just then, the phone rang; he hurried to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello Mr. Hattori, we have your test results back. They turned up negative for everything."

"Are you positive?"

"Yes, we are positive. Have a good day Mr. Hattori." Heiji got off the phone and felt like cheering. He let out a long held breath and ran into the bedroom.

Shinichi was still sleeping when he felt lips on his face, he fluttered open his eyes and saw a lighter grey than the day before. He felt like cheering, soon he would be able to see this Hattori. "Hattori?" The only response he got was:

"Negative." Shinichi knew what that meant and he sat up fast, hitting Heiji who was above him. He smiled, he was safe, and it was going to be okay. Heiji ran his fingers gently over Shinichi's face and leaned his forehead on his. "You are beautiful, Shinichi."

Shinichi almost tackled him, and then attacked his mouth with his own. Hands were running over bare skin, and thoughts were turning wild. Heiji watched the way the blind boy moved his lips over his chest, somehow without sight knowing where to go to drive him to the edge. "Shinichi, how do you know?" the boy looked up at him, the pale shadow figure all he could make out.

"I don't." Heiji smiled and had Shinichi lean back on the bed.

"Then I will teach you." Heiji looked at the small, pale figure on the bed, his rare beauty shimmering all around him, scar or not, he was gorgeous. He started to crawl over Shinichi, sitting directly on the smaller boy's arousal, which caused both of them to moan. Then, he began to move, a back and forth sort of motion, the cloth of their boxers causing pleasurable friction. Shinichi grabbed at the blankets, his breath quick from the rubbing.

"You-you are a-tease." Shinichi gasped as Heiji's moist tongue circled his pert nipples, without stopping the grinding. "More Hattori, give me-more!" Heiji stopped, and Shinichi whined, "Why did you stop?"

Heiji smiled and got off the hot boy beneath him to grab a small tube of something. "To give you more." He slowly took off Shinichi's boxers, revealing a very erect member, which made Heiji smile and Shinichi blush and stammer.

"I-um..." Heiji couldn't help himself, he bent down and took the said appendage in his warm mouth and began to bob his head up and down. Shinichi just gasped. Heiji's swift, knowing tongue, taunted the boy into a puddle of hot desire. Heiji stopped right before the boy exploded and laughed.

"You taste good Shinichi, the best I ever had." Shinichi turned a red color and turned his unseeing eyes anywhere but Heiji's direction. Heiji just grabbed the boys chin and turned him to him. "That's a good think, take it as a complement." Heiji kissed the embarrassed boy before snapping open the said tube of clear liquid.

"What was that?"

"You'll see, be patient." Heiji slathered his index and middle finger with a generous amount of the substance and nudged Shinichi's entrance. Causing the boy to yelp.

"That's cold!" Heiji laughed and started to inch his way in the hole. Shinichi squirmed and winced.

"It gets better, I sware." Heiji kissed the boy to distract him from the intrusion. Which worked, Shinichi moved his lips in unison with Heiji's, his tongue rolling over Heiji's mouth. Finally, when Heiji was in, he started to move the finger around, trying to stretch the virgin boy. "This is going to hurt a little bit, but it will feel so good, I promise you." Heiji smothered himself with the lubrication also and pulled his finger out of Shinichi. After a few seconds, he drove into him. Shinichi screamed, but as Heiji had promised, it did get better, and when they had finished he lay in his arms smiling.

"I love you Hattori. I really do."


End file.
